


He Wonders

by UniversesAdrien



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Disappearing, Loneliness, M/M, Multi, Possibly Unrequited Love, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniversesAdrien/pseuds/UniversesAdrien
Summary: DISCLAIMER: THIS IS JUST A STORY, IF SOMETHING TRIGGERS YOU, DO NOT READ. IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY NOR IS IT MEANT TO HURT NCT OR ANY OTHER ARTISTS.Yuta was only 18 years old when he gave up on love, and his friend can only wonder why.ORYuta disappears into thin air, and Taeil wonders where and why.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Moon Taeil, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Moon Taeil/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	He Wonders

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ! I wrote this bc I had a bit of time to write something quickly. I hope you all like it and do not hurt me for continuing to write angst lol.

When Yuta was young, he believed that one day he'd find his knight in shining armor. Although, as the years went on, his faith started to fade into the wind.

He fell in love easily, and it was always something completely ridiculous that ticked the box inside his heart.

And it was always that box that shattered it.

"Do you remember the last time you saw him?" It was a detective, the same one that has solved many missing cases in the past.

"I saw him on the 14th, at an event with the rest of our friends," Taeil spoke softly. 

It had been two days since he last saw Yuta. 

He thought he had gotten a ride home from one of his relatives after they both got dropped off at his apartment. Taeil asked Yuta if he wanted a ride home, but the other simply smiled and shook his head. 

"Have you ever thought about dropping everything and just disappearing? Just leave everything behind and start over?" Taeil thought it was just another sleep deprivation talk that Yuta often had, so he joked around and said yes.

"Yeah, all the time. I sometimes want to keep driving instead of stopping at work." Yuta hummed and said nothing after. He gave a quick hug to Taeil and left, a silent tear streaming down his face. But the older didn't notice this at all.

That night, Yuta got home and cleaned. He tidied his house up, gave a kiss on his sisters' foreheads, and left with his small backpack. 

"All the time, huh? I wonder..."

"Would you like a vase with this, sir?" Yuta shook his head no and gave a warm smile to the lady behind the counter. He picked up the black plastic container that had his tiny flower and made his way to a nearby park bench. Quietly, he placed the plant into an empty pill bottle and put the container in a recycling bin.

He didn't want to leave trash behind.

"Taeil, have you read this?" Sicheng spoke from across the room. In his hands was a small black journal that had a big red circle on the cover. He flipped through the pages and fell upon hundreds of words about heartbreak and regret.

"Listen to this, _'I didn't want any of this to happen. I hate these feelings so much. I'm tired of loving everyone else but no one loving me back. And the one time they did, my fucked up mind ruined it. Why does this keep happening to me? Why can't I catch a single break? I just want to be loved, but I give up. I give up on trying to be the most supportive and strong person everyone thinks I am. I give up on being loved. I just give up.'_ " Taeil's voice started to quiver at the end of the paragraph. He couldn't help but think...

"I didn't know he felt this way..."

"No one did."

"So tell me, Nakamoto Yuta, what do you think you'll be in ten years?"

"I think I'd have three children by then, adopted or not. Maybe a husband by my side while we both thrive in our careers. I'd be a successful music producer and he'd be successful in his field, while we live a normal life. No chaos, just regular life. What about you?"

"If I'm gone, don't feel sad. I didn't fulfill my dreams, and that's okay. It's rare that someone does. That one person might not love me back, but it's okay. As long as they're happy. And I may not ever have kids, but that's okay. Someone else will. I may not be what I want to be, but at least someone else is."

Yuta hated falling in love. He knew that even though he cherished everyone else, no one really paid attention to him or tried to do stuff with him. Yuta often ended up being the person to make plans, make everything about the person he hung out with, and yet, no one did that for him. They didn't ask him to play games with them, eat dinner, hang out and watch movies, nothing.

It was like no one really paid attention to him, he was often the one to initiate things. All he wanted was to be treated like people cared about him. 

Yuta felt like he bothered everyone, like every time he went into a room, people were immediately annoyed by his very existence. A lot of the time, he would retreat back to an empty area and cry. He would sometimes not reply to someone if he thought he was annoying someone.

That was just what he was like. He wasn't the bubbly person everyone thought he was. And he definitely wasn't the person that everyone thought was independent and responsible.

Yuta's just a child. He's someone who needs to be taken care of after taking care of everyone else.

In the end, Yuta just wanted to be loved. 

"Thank you for submitting these letters, Taeil. These will certainly help us find your friend." The detective spoke sternly. Taeil nodded and left the station with a frown on his face. He wanted Yuta back. He wanted to know if he was okay and where he was.

After reading his letters, Taeil knew he had to give Yuta a lengthy conversation.

"I'm sorry for this, Yuta, I'm just not ready."

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way."

"You can genuinely fuck off, Yuta."

"No! I don't like you!"

"I'm sorry, I-"

Yuta just smiled and told them it was okay when it really wasn't.

"It happens quite a bit. 

"It's okay, I just wanted to let you know."

"Taeil, do you remember what Yuta would tell us?" Sicheng said as he looked up from his newspaper.

"No, what did he say?" It had been five months since he went missing, and in those five months, all they did was mourn over the disappearance of Nakamoto Yuta.

"He would tell us how much he wanted to be loved. And I never got the chance to tell him that I did." Taeil looked up at Sicheng, shock clouding his face. Sicheng laughed bitterly and buried his face further into his newspaper.

He cried that day, they both did.

And today, they still wonder what happened to Yuta. Some say he achieved his dream. Some say he passed. No one knows.

But Taeil would like to think that he did end up having a family and career.

Because everyone deserves happiness at one point in their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @/universesadrien  
> Instagram: @/universesadrien  
> Wattpad: @/universesadrien
> 
> Cross-posted on Wattpad.
> 
> Hope you have a good day!


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